Bridget Jones style salsa diet

For All Of Those Dancing Salsa To Help De-Stress:

This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with the stress that builds up during the day. It is not guaranteed to help you lose weight or completely de-stress but it may make you feel better in the short-term:

BREAKFAST:
1 grapefruit
1 slice whole-wheat toast
1 cup skim milk

LUNCH:
small portion lean, steamed chicken with a cup of spinach
cup herbal tea
1 miniature MARS® bar

AFTERNOON TEA:
the rest of the mini MARS® bars in the bag
tub of Hagen Daas ice cream with chocolate-chip topping

DINNER:
4 bottles of wine (red or white)
1 family size supreme pizza
2 loaves garlic bread
3 snickers bars

LATE NIGHT SNACK:
Whole frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer) because you have realised that STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS IS "DESSERTS"!